Surviving Our First Kid Party

This will just be a short post. I will do a more detailed post on Zoey's birthday in the family blog.
This past weekend was Zoey's first birthday party where we invited other kids. I was super nervous about it for several different reasons. 1) Would there be anyone at the party,  2) Would Zoey even care about the other kids at the party, and 3) How would the non ASD kids (and parents) react to the ASD kiddos. I ended up having no need to worry about any of those things.

In terms of kids at the party, we invited all 8 kids in her preschool class, a couple of kids from her speech group, 4 kids from daycare, and one of her cousins. We ended up having 12 kids at the party. So no need to worry about a lack of kiddos.

I'm not certain which kids have an ASD diagnosis and which didn't. All the kids did so well. We had a few small meltdowns by a couple of kids, both ASD and neurotypical (have I ever mentioned how much I hate that term), but nothing major. All of the kids were fully engaged in the baking activities we did. They also all played really well together when we had some free play time.

Probably the best thing to see was Zoey's reaction to her birthday party. One, she was super excited leading up to it and for the first time really understood what having a birthday party meant. The greatest part though was her reaction when her friends arrived to the house. She was so excited to see them and yelled their names when they arrived (except for a few from school, who I don't think she interacts with as much). She gave the first couple who arrived a tour of her party and introduced them to her family. There was girlie screeching when her best friend, Rohina, arrived at the party, which just made me smile.

I held off tears for the most part. There was a brief moment later at the family party when we were opening presents and the card from Rohina was signed "love your best friend Rohina". There was just something so sweet about that. It was validating to me that Rohina, and her mom, also view her friendship with Zoey as important.

It was just a really good day and gives me so much hope for Zoey's social relationships. I love that she is making connections and has actually made more than I was even aware of.

The Birthday Girl

Best Friend from School - Abbie

Girls Decorating their Hats

Cupcakes Bring Everyone Together

 Hugs for Megan

Hugs for BFF Rohina

The Kids Making Cookies

Group Picture - Minus 2

The Kids Playing So Nicely

Rohina and Zoey

Misunderstood

Just a quick post tonight cuz I'm super tired but have something I want to get off my chest.

We took Zoey to Great Wolf Lodge (an indoor water park) today for our niece's kind of birthday celebration. On our way home Scott and I were talking about a meltdown she had today and hard it is because she probably just looked like a terribly  behaved child. See what happened is that we were looking for her cousin to go on a slide but when we found them they were in the lazy river and Zoey thought that meant we were going there next. When we tried to get her out of the water, she refused to go and had a meltdown when Scott pulled her out of the water. Now anyone watching that scene probably just saw another bratty child throwing a fit because they were told no. However, with Zoey, it's not as simple as that. The meltdown had nothing to do with being told no. It was that she thought we were going in the river and because of the rigid thinking that comes with her diagnosis, that was where we needed to be. People don't see that in her mind, she has tunnel vision and until that task is completed that is all she can see. They don't see that when we pull her away from what she thinks is supposed to happen it creates great anxiety about what will happen next. They don't see her repeatedly asking " what's the schedule" and us having to tell her exactly what we are going to do up until we get home and go to bed. They don't understand that her little nerves are already all out of whack because she is in sensory overload from all the noise and things going on around her. She's just another bratty kid . Sometimes even I forget because she's high functioning and the majority of the  time has minimal issues.

I think all families that are affected by Autism go through this. I hear things all the time about people staring as their kid has a meltdown. I've wanted to make a sign that says "stare harder maybe you'll cure her autism". It's an annoying and frustrating fact of our life. People will stare and people will judge.